Over the past few days, I did something I genuinely never thought I’d do again - I posted several videos of myself on a public platform.

Welcome to the beginning of a new series where I explore mental health and wellbeing apps to see if they actually help. I’ll be giving honest, first-hand feedback so you know what’s worth your time. First up: Finch.

I wanted to write myself a letter; I expected it to be full of hope and happiness but it didn’t feel honest. My life is significantly worse than from when I was nine. Not because of any specific event happening right now, but the memories in my head, the feelings in my stomach, makes it all so hard. 

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. Please don’t rely on this post for diagnosis or treatment. If you think you might be struggling with an eating disorder, seek help from a qualified professional.

Have you ever been told to “just try some anxiety techniques” and brushed it off? Same here. I’ve struggled with anxiety for, from what I can remember, my whole life, and for a long time, I didn’t take those suggestions seriously, thinking they’d never be able to help. But now I wish I had. While these exercises don’t always work, they’ve helped me more than I expected and maybe they can help you too.

Staying clean is hard and that’s okay. If you need to use a harmful coping mechanism to keep yourself alive then you shouldn’t be chastised for doing so. 

Lately, I’ve found myself trapped in a cycle that feels impossible to break. Here’s a glimpse into what that’s looked like and the little things I’m doing to pull myself through.

One thing everyone is told to do from a young age is to embrace yourself and be proud of who you are/your journey. But why is it the opposite on social media when you have scars?

When I was in both the general hospital and the psychiatric units, I used to find writing soothing - I could let all my thoughts out without fear of repercussion. I would write and write and write, letting everything flow from my temple to the notebook in front of me. This was my outlet, my release.

Promoted as a place to keep you safe and help you get better, psych wards are a well known thing to people who struggle with mental health and those who don’t. But what are they actually like?

Before diving into the more difficult parts of my story, I want to share the positives that have kept me moving forward. Below are just a couple of things that have helped me see a real future for myself.