When every day feels the same

Lately, I’ve found myself trapped in a cycle that feels impossible to break. Here’s a glimpse into what that’s looked like and the little things I’m doing to pull myself through.

An endless cycle 

I couldn’t bring myself to do anything yesterday. I couldn’t write, I couldn’t read, I couldn’t even get dressed. My days feel too predictable and sometimes it feels like more than I can handle. When you’re doing the same things everyday, you start to feel stuck, like you’re not going anywhere. It’s how you learn to manage those emotions that’s important.

What I’m doing to help myself 

I woke up this morning feeling the exact same as I did yesterday. Today though, I’m not going to let it stop me. This afternoon, I’m going on a walk around town with my mum. Running became a regular part of my routine which I thoroughly enjoyed but am currently unable to do, so I’m doing the next best thing. Fresh air and movement, in any form, have quickly become things that help me feel more grounded. I need to take advantage of that while I feel shit. 

Mindset

Having a negative mindset can be really tricky to get out of. I’m not too sure how I got out of my own. I think I kept telling myself that I wanted a future, a life that didn’t revolve around my ‘issues’. On top of this, I just did the things that I enjoy: reading, writing, crafting, etc. I fought tooth and nail to get where I am now. While I’m far from perfect, I’m so much better than I once was. Of course though, these sorts of things don’t change over night so never ever beat yourself up for it or feel as if all is lost.

Tutoring

Another massive thing that is helping me with feeling as if my life is going nowhere has been having a tutor. It’s only been two weeks but it's definitely helped me feel a sense of accomplishment and hope even though I was originally wholly against the idea.

For those wondering, the reason I didn’t like the idea of being tutored is because it’s been almost a year since I have been taught. Due to being out of school since year eight, I find things that should be easy for my age range quite difficult which leads to embarrassment and feeling mad/upset in general that I've missed out on so much. Once the lessons started, my mind was easily swayed as I do genuinely have fun learning. Having to wake up early is still something I’m getting used to though.

I don’t have it all figured out, but I’m moving. Slowly, but moving. And that’s enough for me.